


The Face of Fear

by MartinusMiraculorum



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Gen, Mentions of Anders Cullen and Carver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2019-02-01 18:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12710646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MartinusMiraculorum/pseuds/MartinusMiraculorum
Summary: After confronting a batch of Templar recruits turned Abominations against their will, the Hawke sisters contemplate the worst.





	The Face of Fear

Many, many years ago, Mara Hawke had learned to read her sister’s moods.

It was always somewhat remarkable to her that someone as compassionate and kind could be so guarded. Of course, she reminded herself, both she and her sister had racked up quite the body count in their year and a bit in Kirkwall, even if they told themselves their victims had it coming.

Bethany was a study in contradictions – a gentle soul who wielded terrifying power over the elements themselves. It had come as a surprise to all of them, she remembered, when Bethany had wielded fire magic with such ease, the first time her father had handed her the whittled staff she would name Birchbark. A young woman confident in her abilities yet terrified of her own power. Not as scared as she was of being taken from her family by the Templars, but the fear was very, very real.

At times when Mara was growing up, learning to shoot her bow, she had envied Bethany. Carver certainly had – it seemed like he had never quite gotten over the attention his father lavished on his only child born with magical talent. Even their mother’s doting affection had never seemed to quite fill that hole.

She hoped Carver had found more peace than he pretended before the end. Whatever her disagreements with him (and many of them involved Bethany and her gifts), he had deserved so much better. She missed him.

The other reason Bethany was guarded, of course, was because even a word overheard by the wrong person could give her away, and start a sequence of events that would lead to her never seeing her family again. Mara knew it made her sister very nervous when her temper would get the better of her and she would refuse to ‘smile and nod,’ as Bethany put it.

Particularly when she did it in front of a Templar.

But that _wasn’t_ what was bothering her sister today. Sure, being around that wretched Cullen had unnerved her, especially when it was clear he knew exactly what she was – a dangerous position for an apostate. Mara wasn’t _too_ concerned – Cullen owed a mage his life, and if he had even the slightest sliver of honor he would respect her freedom in return.

Mara thought he could manage that, at least.

_And if he doesn’t, he won’t live long enough to regret it_ , she vowed darkly.

Bethany stood in the corner of their uncle’s ramshackle Lowtown dwelling, rubbing her palms up and down Birchbark. She only did that when she was _really_ worried.

Mara set down the whetstone she was using to get repair some of the damage her stilettos had taken in the last fight, sheathed them, and walked around to her sister. Bethany didn’t even seem to notice.

_Not good_ , Mara thought. _Not good at all_.

“Hey Beth,” she said softly. Her sister started, then relaxed.

“What’s going on?”

Mara looked at her. “I think we should talk.”

Bethany looked away. “I’m fine, sis, really. Just you know, that Templar.”

Mara raised an eyebrow. “Uh huh.” Gently, she pulled her mildly protesting sister away towards the room they both slept in, giving Gamlen a look that said she would make him regret it if she caught him eavesdropping. And Mara had _very_ good hearing.

Once the door was closed, Mara took a deep breath. “Talk to me, Bethany. Something is bothering you. _Really_ bothering you, and it’s not just that damn Templar.”

Bethany swallowed. Her eyes glistened and Mara resisted the urge to wrap her arms around her younger sister. She had to let Bethany get this out.

“Those…things, we fought.”

“Abominations,” Mara supplied. She suppressed a shiver at the deformed, mindless beasts bursting with demonic power. It had taken a _lot_ to bring them down with her blades. She was pretty sure she’d be bearing a scar from the hit one had landed on her shoulder, burning straight through her smuggler’s leathers. It still hurt, even after being treated with her mother’s best poultices.

“They could…they could be me,” Bethany burst out.

Mara frowned. “You’re smarter than that, Beth.”

“They didn’t have a _choice_ ,” she burst out. “Those demons took them over, burned away their souls, left them nothing but human puppets. And that could…” she drew in a shaky breath.

“Hey,” Mara said, crossing the room and gently taking Birchbark from her unresisting hands, leaning it against the wall. She placed her hands on her sister’s shoulders, but Bethany shrugged them away with surprising violence.

“No, don’t…don’t touch me,” she said.

Mara raised her hands. “Okay, I won’t. But you need to talk to me. Don’t shut me out, Beth.”

Bethany wiped her sleeve over her eyes. “Mara, I’ve never understood how you weren’t scared of me. How you didn’t resent me.”

“Because you’re my damn sister, and you didn’t ask for this,” Mara said, a bit too heatedly, as Bethany shrunk back. _Calm, Mara. Don’t scare her into silence. Again._

“But…what we saw today…that could have been me. You have to understand that.”

“You’ve never used Blood Magic,” Mara protested.

“That’s not the only way possession can happen, and you bloody know it.” Bethany was angry now.

_Good,_ Mara thought. _She needs to let this out_.

“Beth, you know how much I care about you.”

“Of course I do,” she said, sounding slightly offended. She looked at the floor. “Too much.”

Mara frowned. “What?”

Bethany threw her hands in the air, and turned her back. Mara waited patiently. When she turned around, she looked furious. “You would fight every damn Templar in Kirkwall to protect me.”

“Yup,” Mara said, without hesitation.

“Don’t you realize how much that _scares_ me?” Bethany said, her voice raised. “How often I have nightmares about you dead because you refused to just let me go?”

Mara froze. This _was_ new. “You’re my sister, Beth. You’re my blood. You and Mother are all I’ve got left. I’d kill for both of you.” She paused. “I _have_.”

“I know,” Bethany said shakily. “And you know that means the world to me. After Father…after Father died, you were always there for me. At first I resented it, you know, like you couldn’t trust me to go anywhere by myself.”

Mara opened her mouth to object, but Bethany silenced her with a look.

“I don’t, anymore,” she said. “Because I know it’s not that you don’t trust _me_. It’s that you don’t trust the _world_. And that does make a big difference.”

Mara could only nod. That was it, pretty much. “Look, sis, I…I try to understand what you go though. As best I can, I mean. You’re special, and I’m…”

“You’re incredibly special,” Bethany said, incredulity in her voice. “Or have you forgotten how you were bulls-eyeing targets at fifty meters at by your fourteenth birthday?”

Mara shrugged. “It’s not the same.”

Bethany rolled her eyes. _This_ was not a new conversation.

Mara paused. “Do you want to talk to Anders about it? He’d understand, I mean, better than I possibly could.”

She wasn’t _entirely_ sure she trusted the older apostate, but he had been loyal so far, and his hatred of the Chantry and the Templars and the Circle was absolutely genuine. She was more concerned he’d drag Bethany into his foolish crusade. 

Bethany thought for a moment. “Maybe. That could help. He…well, he understands me.” She paused, looking guilty. “I mean…”

Mara raised her hands. “I know exactly what you mean, and I’m happy for you to have someone who you talk to about this stuff without having to explain every detail.” Even _if_ Anders rather worried her. He’d taken a damn _spirit_ into his _body_ , and done it _willingly_. Sure, he clearly wasn’t an Abomination, not in the usual sense. He retained his own mind and will and only occasionally surrendered it to the _thing_ that was inside him. She just didn’t want Bethany getting any ideas. Mara was sure that decision would come back to haunt Anders, if it hadn’t already.

Bethany smiled. “Thank you.” Her postured relaxed, and Mara crossed the dingy room to embrace her. Her sister sniffled into her shoulder as Mara wrapped her arms around her back.

“It’s alright,” she whispered. “You’re fine. I’m here, Mother’s here, and we’re going to figure all of this out. We’re Hawkes. Say it with me.”

“We’re Hawkes,” Bethany said, her voice slightly hoarse. “And we never give up.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little one-shot about how Bethany and her sister might cope after their first experience fighting Abominations. There were a lot of potentially traumatic moments in DA2 that felt deserving of at least some notice, but this was among the most glaring.


End file.
